Fat Woman Walking

If we adults played like very young children, we would probably never get fat, certainly not obese. If we approached physical activity like children do – that is, before the lure of technology and the opposite sex kicks in – we would probably never give up moving our bodies. We would always be in tip-top shape. We would never get up in the morning and groan about having to hit the gym or the great outdoors. We would just jump into our play clothes and shoes and hit the pavement. No drama. It’s all about attitude: children embrace activity – they enjoy playing outside and exploring their surroundings and making new friends. As a child, I wasn’t especially adept at or fond of organized sports – I was never much of a rule lover – but I did spend a lot of time outside, roaming the neighborhood and finding other kids to play with: the Stanislavs, the Crannys, the Behrens, the Bolands, the Hawkins, among others. Freestyling kids don’t select their friends because of commo

  “Fools are my theme, let satire be my song.” – Lord Byron ______________________________________ Today, I am going to teach you how to build a fat body: 1. Eat whatever you want and in any quantity . Eat until your gut bulges. Dump a load of greasy snacks down your gullet, especially close to bedtime so that the middle of the night morphs into a cauldron of acid indigestion and acid reflux. What fun! 2. Skip meals. Better yet, starve all day, and eat only one large meal a day, and that should be at night, the later the better, lasting until you hit the sheets. Be sure to add some sweet and salty snacks to your food dump. 3. Never exercise. Walk only when you must, for example, shuffling to the fridge or waddling from your car to your favorite fast food place. Better yet, use the drive-through. 4. Make sure that you’re sleep deprived. Four hours a night is quite enough, but I’m sure that you could function with a lot less. Soldier on! Man up! 5. Eat not